I'm in it to win it!

I had the second part of my root canal done Friday. As I lay there wide-mouthed, a blue dam jamming my jaws apart, I listened to the radio and thought about the words to the song, "I'm in it to win it."

I thought about what I want to win. I thought about wanting to be great at something. I don't feel like I'm great at any one thing. I've never been drawn so passionately to one thing that I have developed the focus necessary to become excellent at that one chosen thing. I'm a dabbler. (That brings to mind a scene from a Disney show, sadly enough, from Sonny with a Chance or a Song...or something where the musician disrespects her efforts at song writing because she is only a dabbler). I enjoy doing lots of things. So I am a dabbler.

I chose to try to be a great mother and wife. And person. I'm trying not to be a dabbler in being a great mom and wife, but I know that my lack of focus in general transfers to my mediocrity as a mom at this point.

I want to show love to my family. That requires a lot from me. But it is the best kind of requirement.

An Overwhelming List

The truth is that this job of mother is an impossible job. No one can do it completely right, forget perfect. But the challenge makes every day exciting.

Some parts of this job:
buying, cooking and feeding healthy food to my family to promote health and happiness
caring for them when they're sick
teaching them good habits, good character traits-honesty, respect, kindness, to be hard-working
clothing them, every day, in clean clothes, no less
And clean sheets and blankets
giving them emotional stability
loving them wholely
forgiving them for breaking your treasures and eating your lipstick
then feeding and clothing them again(dishes, laundry anyone?)
teaching them to work hard (broken record mother?)
Is there a yard connected to that house? (Can you mow the lawn?)
What about music? Sports? Dance? Drama!? Oh, the drama!

Routines, spontaneity--yes, you are responsible for teaching them both, they will unknowingly pattern themselves after you.

And sex. You get to teach them about that too. No problem.
And religion and politics. What you don't know might become obvious.
Intimidated yet?

I almost forgot money and finances cause they don't teach that in school. Not really.
Do you exercise? Read? Serve others? Your kids will know and follow your example more than your words.

Then make sure you are creating memories and traditions at each holiday. Decorations? My daughter usually does them. Meals become an event and guess what!!? You are in charge! Or you might get lucky and at least have help like I do (mainly because my husband isn't in the other room watching football. Bless him!)

So, that is what I think about when I think of my job. 

But I try not to think about it all at once. 

Baby steps. One day a time. One thing at a time.

Don't borrow trouble (or something like that). I will address these ideas separately in the future. Just wanted to think about what makes this job so exciting and varied.

Nourishing The Next Generation

I love food. Good food. Beautiful food. I sometimes think I'd like to go to cooking school or get a degree in food science and nutrition, but then I realize I can just read about and watch the food network and make healthy meals for my family.

But then I feed chocolate and ice cream to my fourteen month old to keep her quiet or cheer her up.

I also feed her hummus and peas and chicken and rice and eggs and cucumbers. And fresh fruit and legumes and whole grains and yogurt. And water, or a little tiny bit of juice. And milk. But mostly breast milk still. I do think I will start weaning her soon. I want to set the boundary down a bit sooner with her. She doesn't seem to get that her teeth and my soft flesh aren't supposed to connect.

A Place For My Ideas About My Job

I love to tell people my title for what I do: Quality of Life Control Manager. That is why I stay home and run the house: to increase the quality of life for my whole family. I don't know that I could do what I do (which could be more) if I had to work full time in another job.

I have always wanted to stay home with my kids, even though I wanted to be a doctor, a photographer, an interior designer, a dancer, a teacher, a writer, an artist--I knew that my skills could be practiced at  home as a full-time mother and wife. Yes, it was not fashionable to admit that I wanted to be a homemaker when I was in school, and I didn't fully train myself for it, but I think being a full time wife and mother, a SAHM as they say, might be gaining popularity these days. Maybe women have seen that they aren't able to do it all and have a functioning home and family if they don't spend more time at it.

I do realize that every one is different in their choices and circumstances. I also know that what I am trying to do is lay out what is important to me. I actually have a lot to learn...or at least a lot to implement in my quest to improve the quality of life for those around me.

So this blog will be the place where I explore the intricacies of my assignment as a mother of five and wife to one.

Hope you enjoy this journey along with me.