What Did I learn this week?

I've been very busy. But it isn't as hard if I take time to exercise and relax to get everything done and still feel sane. When I missed my workout, or my TV time, I felt more stressed. I do watch TV while doing laundry, but the mindlessness of both activities is good down time.

I am trying to be more focused on spending quality time with each child. That is hard. Especially with Silas who is rarely home or with a spare minute. I did make an extra effort to attend his cross country meet and I think it did matter, even if he was a little bugged I was there since he felt like he wasn't going to run well (but he beat his best time by 5 seconds!)

I started, finally!, reading "Anne of Green Gables" with Eden, and Chloe is listening too. Anne is such a great character that I've wanted to read this to Eden for some time. Having an upcoming lesson at church on my duty to God in relation to my children made me get to work and finally do what I wanted to do, but didn't make myself do. Religion ain't so bad!

Someone has to do the laundry

I'm not sure if I've used this title yet on one of my posts on my other blog, but I think this would be a great title for a book.

I don't call myself a feminist, but I certainly believe that men and women should be equal partners when they are married and that women should be able to choose what they want to be and do in life. I do harbor some residual belief that men seem to be better at doing things than women, like when my husband stays home he is better at organizing stuff and if he put his mind to it, I think he would run the house better than I do because he would see it as a job and not as his lot in life, although that was more my thinking about 10 years ago. I think I have changed my views (thus this blog) and am learning to run my household better. (And I also wonder why men seem to be better chefs than women. What's up with that?)

Which kind of brings me to my point: because I was raised in the climate of freeing women from the drudgery of housework, I was not taught how to organize or incorporate the concept of caring for the home into my body of knowledge (if I have one of those). But, even if women have been "liberated", someone still has to do the laundry! And when you choose to stay home and create a good quality of life for your family, doing the laundry seems to be a huge part of the process.

Now I'm not trying to minimize the efforts of my mother to teach me how to function in the home, but the counter efforts of my scholastic education made me less than prepared to keep up with all this laundry. At least that's my excuse!

The truth is, I try to ask my sons to do a load (or to "reboot") the laundry every day. Then I fold, in front of the tv. Or I don't and the clean laundry sits in the baskets. Sometimes in the living room, which is where the tv is (I wish we had it somewhere else, but that's where it is) and sometimes in my bedroom, which Dave HATES, but at least it's not messing up other rooms. So, I try to keep the laundry ball rolling every day. And that's how I keep seven people clothed and bedded.

I'm not the only one doing it luckily! Besides the boys, Dave helps (mainly his own, to keep his shirts from being left in the dryer and getting all wrinkled) and Ella loves to help too!!!

I'm in it to win it!

I had the second part of my root canal done Friday. As I lay there wide-mouthed, a blue dam jamming my jaws apart, I listened to the radio and thought about the words to the song, "I'm in it to win it."

I thought about what I want to win. I thought about wanting to be great at something. I don't feel like I'm great at any one thing. I've never been drawn so passionately to one thing that I have developed the focus necessary to become excellent at that one chosen thing. I'm a dabbler. (That brings to mind a scene from a Disney show, sadly enough, from Sonny with a Chance or a Song...or something where the musician disrespects her efforts at song writing because she is only a dabbler). I enjoy doing lots of things. So I am a dabbler.

I chose to try to be a great mother and wife. And person. I'm trying not to be a dabbler in being a great mom and wife, but I know that my lack of focus in general transfers to my mediocrity as a mom at this point.

I want to show love to my family. That requires a lot from me. But it is the best kind of requirement.

An Overwhelming List

The truth is that this job of mother is an impossible job. No one can do it completely right, forget perfect. But the challenge makes every day exciting.

Some parts of this job:
buying, cooking and feeding healthy food to my family to promote health and happiness
caring for them when they're sick
teaching them good habits, good character traits-honesty, respect, kindness, to be hard-working
clothing them, every day, in clean clothes, no less
And clean sheets and blankets
giving them emotional stability
loving them wholely
forgiving them for breaking your treasures and eating your lipstick
then feeding and clothing them again(dishes, laundry anyone?)
teaching them to work hard (broken record mother?)
Is there a yard connected to that house? (Can you mow the lawn?)
What about music? Sports? Dance? Drama!? Oh, the drama!

Routines, spontaneity--yes, you are responsible for teaching them both, they will unknowingly pattern themselves after you.

And sex. You get to teach them about that too. No problem.
And religion and politics. What you don't know might become obvious.
Intimidated yet?

I almost forgot money and finances cause they don't teach that in school. Not really.
Do you exercise? Read? Serve others? Your kids will know and follow your example more than your words.

Then make sure you are creating memories and traditions at each holiday. Decorations? My daughter usually does them. Meals become an event and guess what!!? You are in charge! Or you might get lucky and at least have help like I do (mainly because my husband isn't in the other room watching football. Bless him!)

So, that is what I think about when I think of my job. 

But I try not to think about it all at once. 

Baby steps. One day a time. One thing at a time.

Don't borrow trouble (or something like that). I will address these ideas separately in the future. Just wanted to think about what makes this job so exciting and varied.

Nourishing The Next Generation

I love food. Good food. Beautiful food. I sometimes think I'd like to go to cooking school or get a degree in food science and nutrition, but then I realize I can just read about and watch the food network and make healthy meals for my family.

But then I feed chocolate and ice cream to my fourteen month old to keep her quiet or cheer her up.

I also feed her hummus and peas and chicken and rice and eggs and cucumbers. And fresh fruit and legumes and whole grains and yogurt. And water, or a little tiny bit of juice. And milk. But mostly breast milk still. I do think I will start weaning her soon. I want to set the boundary down a bit sooner with her. She doesn't seem to get that her teeth and my soft flesh aren't supposed to connect.

A Place For My Ideas About My Job

I love to tell people my title for what I do: Quality of Life Control Manager. That is why I stay home and run the house: to increase the quality of life for my whole family. I don't know that I could do what I do (which could be more) if I had to work full time in another job.

I have always wanted to stay home with my kids, even though I wanted to be a doctor, a photographer, an interior designer, a dancer, a teacher, a writer, an artist--I knew that my skills could be practiced at  home as a full-time mother and wife. Yes, it was not fashionable to admit that I wanted to be a homemaker when I was in school, and I didn't fully train myself for it, but I think being a full time wife and mother, a SAHM as they say, might be gaining popularity these days. Maybe women have seen that they aren't able to do it all and have a functioning home and family if they don't spend more time at it.

I do realize that every one is different in their choices and circumstances. I also know that what I am trying to do is lay out what is important to me. I actually have a lot to learn...or at least a lot to implement in my quest to improve the quality of life for those around me.

So this blog will be the place where I explore the intricacies of my assignment as a mother of five and wife to one.

Hope you enjoy this journey along with me.